Jae Jin, 25, Baltimore

>I have a deep respect for social graces. How one should pass both the salt and pepper together. How not to yell across a room. Opening doors. Pulling out chairs. Arising from your seat when necessary, whether it’s a dinner table or a crowded bus. It is a lost language and I thank my stepfather for showing me these things. And no, they are not abstract at all.

>A sense of style is something I like to think that I have. I’ve actually probably been complimented for my style as much as i’ve been criticized for it. I think that’s proof enough, since there’s a big difference between fashion and style. Fashion comes and goes, while style is quite individualistic.

>I can’t wait till I grow out of talking like I know everything about something, when I really don’t. I like to think i’m growing out of this, but this could just mean i’m back to square one.

>Family can be filled with irony. Without the strong foundation of a family, it’s hard to be a balanced individual. But there’s no such thing as a perfect family. Actually I imagine that the family was strong because of all the struggles and flaws that both occurred and existed in each member of it.

>One of the many things that my illness has taught me is a degree of death. It’s about losing something, and whenever you lose something, it’s a step toward death. So if you can accept this loss, you can accept the fact that there is going to be the ‘biggest’ loss. Once you are able to accept that loss, you can pretty much accept anything. And then that translates into relationships. I give myself a break, and I give everyone around me a break as well.

>I truly believe that the root of almost all of my problems comes from my mother. I like to think that all men inherit both their temper and pride in large part, if not completely, from their mothers. Mothers are that important. I love and respect no one more than I do my mother.

>Many people around me have higher life expectancies than I do. Many of these people don’t even realize that they haven’t begun to live.

>As I get older, I find that in the right company, alcohol actually does taste better, regardless of its quality.

>Discipline has its merits. I used to get into push-up position and get hit on the ass with a baseball bat… by my mother.

>I feel that one of the most life-changing, thought-provoking experiences I have ever had was to throw up bile. Bile looks different than what many people actually vomit, when they do. Something told me it was not a common experience. There’s something about seeing one’s own bile that gives you perspective; teaches you about the frailty of life.

>I am not envious of the rich and the famous. Struggles are what made you who you are today what will make you who you’ve become when you leave this earth.

>Adrenaline is an amazing thing. I once had a surgical procedure done without going under general anesthesia, as normally directed. Pain was present, but adrenaline had my back.

>When I was just 5 years old, my mother decided to spend some money to get me piano lessons with this tyrannic, chubby, Korean lady with a high pitched voice. Mind you, while we were poor I still couldn’t understand why my shirt was priced $1.00 from a place called Goodwill, and a piano lesson was priced at $10 an hour. She would place sheet music in front of me, and I would just go listen to the song on cassette tape and act like i was “reading” the music. I couldn’t understand why she was trying to teach me how to read something when I could hear it in my head and re-play it the same way. I lasted 4 lessons, before the teacher found out(i played a completely different song), and got mad at me and left, refusing to teach me. My mom was so angry at me, but that was the exact moment that I knew music would forever be an important part of my life.

>I have yet to master the art of listening. Maybe if I would just shut the hell up every once in a while. I suppose that my mastering this art will directly correlate with my getting married.

>Living to be 100 is not something i plan to do, nor desire. There are way too many people i’d have to say goodbye to. Then again, i’m not in control of how old I grow, so i guess i’ll just suck it up. I’m just a quarter of the way there, so it seems far enough away to have to worry about it.

>I feel like i’ve learned so much through my own life as well as the lives around me. I’m hoping you feel the same way.