I like the way today’s date looks. 01-11-10. Beautifully structured…
Anyhow, yesterday was an extremely tough day for me. For the past few months, I have found myself bargaining with God and holding onto my selfish desires as they relate to many things in my life. But yesterday, I took that leap off the cliff and let go. While this was cathartic in many ways, it was nevertheless tough. I spent the entire day bursting into tears and crying out in prayer and going to the Word. I had not done so in so long, which reminds me further of my dissatisfaction that was building up. Around midnight, I called a close brother of mine, and we spoke for almost two hours, just talking and praying for each other. Which helped, but what was further revealed was that there is a lot that will be accomplished this year, and God definitely is breaking me down to be able to build me back up. There won’t be great things done without much suffering to refine and strengthen me. Which ironically is one of those things that you want, but don’t want.
Furthermore, one of those things I’m letting go, is the very thing I desired above all else for the past year, I think in many ways even above God. But it’s evident that God knows my very heart and ripped what I desired right away from me. I find myself struggling a lot also, with the idea that the other person might not be desiring God above all else. Which, ironically enough, leads me to ask myself, “why should I be worried about that when even I, myself, am not desiring God above all else?” This led to my wanting to make change. With this idea of letting go, comes a lot of worrying but i suppose now… i’ve turned this person over to You, God. Now humble me, and do what You will. And in that person as well, as scary as it might be, do the same. I cannot believe I’m asking for this, but I’ve asked God to take away all hope and confidence in myself, so that I can only hope in Christ. This is the only way that all my shortcomings can be burned away, which in turn will lead to my being built up and strengthened. Please pray for me…
I leave you with an old piece by TD Jakes:
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, “They went out from us, but they were never really part of us. If they had been, they would have stayed with us. But by leaving they made it clear that none of them were part of us.” [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s dead. You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!
by: T. D. Jakes
